One of the best life hacks is this…

Enjoy the journey and the process.

It is like those personal development quotes we hear about the journey being the person you become when chasing goals.

So how can we look at marketing with this lens? Rather than always chasing the result, what can we learn in the process that will help your business grow?

Welcome aboard flight CQM222, I am your pilot, Mariah - you have your ticket to good content marketing in hand.

While on this flight the flight attendants will be here to assist you to get off the content creation hamster wheel and onto a new way of marketing to help you live a more freedom-based lifestyle.

Each week you will be given a new stamp in your passport and by the end of the 90 days you will be on your way to explore the world of Content Marketing as a solo traveller.

This is week two - get ready, it is going to be a wild ride! If you LOVED this part of your trip (the episode), make sure you share this on your Instagram stories and tag us @contentqueenmariah and @⁠alex_bakowski⁠.

⁠GET YOUR TICKET TO GOOD CONTENT MARKETING⁠⁠

KEY EPISODE TAKEAWAYS 👇

✨What is flow and how can it help you market your business 

✨How to check in so you can enjoy the process of marketing

✨The “Goldilocks rule” for marketing

✨Mindset shifts to help you show up for your business 

SHOW RESOURCES 👇

• LEARN more about Alex and her work - ⁠⁠https://www.alexbakowski.com/⁠

• FOLLOW Alex on Instagram - ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/alex_bakowski/⁠

• FOLLOW Alex on LinkedIn - ⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/alexbakowski/⁠

• JOIN the campaign and get your passport - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://sales.contentqueenmariah.com/90days⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Find out more about how to WORK WITH US -⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ www.contentqueenmariah.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Connect with us on INSTAGRAM -⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://www.instagram.com/contentqueenmariah⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you like this episode, don't forget to share it to your Instagram stories and tag me⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ @contentqueenmariah⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!

Other than that, enjoy - chat next week 💕

ABOUT THE GUEST

Alex Bakowski is a certified Flow Coach and human performance expert.

With over 20 years in the trenches of corporate life and extensive training in psychology and neuroscience, Alex is not your average coach. She specialises in helping high achievers like you harness the science of flow to reach and exceed your professional and personal goals.

PODCAST TRANSCRIPTION

Alex, welcome to the Content Queen podcast. I'm very excited to have you with me today. I want to kick off. I want you to tell us your story. How did you get to where you are right now in business?  Hmm.  That's a deep question. We could spend the whole podcast going on that. And I, I was born in a little town in Yorkshire.

I won't go back that far, but I think we'll start with, with childhood, because I think  that's where a lot of. Um, how we make sense of the world evolves  and I made sense of the world because I lived in a chaotic household and I had to constantly figure out how to make sure the shit didn't hit the fan in that environment.

So I made myself miss fix it in that environment. Um, and that made me a real observer of human behavior in myself and others.  And I think that's kind of where my passion for humans, um, just ignited.  And then as I was growing up, um, as a teenager, I was pretty strange. So the first weird obsession I had when I was about 13 or 14 was with Judy Garland.

Um, and she was just like amazing. Like what a strange teenager to be obsessed. Like I literally had 60 versions of her singing over the rainbow.  And what I loved about her was.  Her human story of survival, like she, um, grew up on the stage, um, and by the time she was, um, sort of 10, 11, she was already being given performance drugs, so to speak, to actually get her into the movies and performing at her best.

But she survived, right? She was an amazing talent. She survived and she, um, continued on, um, performing right throughout her life. And I really kind of was attracted to that vulnerable story because I think there were lots of parallels between that and myself and where I found myself. Um, and so my journey to find, finding my optimal self.

sort of evolved to me reading Deepak Chopra and Wayne Dyer, um, who were kind of like new age type, um, authors and speakers in my sort of late teens. And so that was again, pretty strange, but I got really passionate about this alternative way of finding who you are. And then that led me to be walking on hot coals with Anthony Robbins in London and doing all sorts of strange stuff.

So. If it comes to a motivational speaker or someone like that, I've been there in the front row, like just soaking it all in. Um, and then in my 20s and 30s, I think that matured a little bit into understanding more the research. So I, um, really got intrigued by the science of human performance, um, around neuroscience, around really what was the science telling us about how to be in your optimal state.

And this really collided with my situation, um, uh, finding myself caught in the corporate jungle. So the corporate jungle was to me, felt like not being able to be myself or escape the corporate world.  And just this frustration with, is this the best that this can be? We all go to work every day for such long hours.

Surely it should be better than this. And is this our human experience when we're all suffering through this experience called work? Um, and it was about that time that I came across this amazing quote from, um, an author called David Wyatt, who's an amazing poet. Um, and he said that work is an opportunity for us to discover and shape ourselves.

It's the place where the self meets the world.  And so I looked at this construct of work as not a thing to go where we suffer or just to make money, but maybe that was actually the place where we could show up and be at our best. Um, and then that sort of has led me to start my own business, um, and really to do the work that I do today.

Wow. That is amazing. And I did not know that. That is content right there. You as a teenager  being obsessed with like personal development and people's stories and that is insane. You know, lots of us are teenagers. We're. You know, not even thinking about anyone else, but ourselves. Right.  Oh, I was so weird.

I used to sit in the school library and take photocopies of Judy Garland out of books and I created like made scrapbooks and stuff. Um, people used to call me Judy because like that, that's how obsessed I was. And our pet bird, as we were growing up, ended up being called Judy too. And she's still around.

Um, so yeah, yeah, I was obsessed.  Oh my God. The bird is still alive. Yeah.  She's still going. Oh  my God. That is great. I love it so much. And this is so fascinating because I've learned, you know, so much in the time that I've known you, which really has been such a short time, really, if you think about it around this concept of  performance and fulfillment and how we can sort of bring these together.

And you've You know, a lot of the times we feel guilty when we work too much, or we feel guilty because, you know, we see on social media, you've got to work a four hour work week or whatever book's trend is happening at the moment. And I think I am not that way inclined. Like I obviously travel and want to live that free lifestyle, but the definition of being free is different for every person.

And I think we're being conditioned to think has to be free. You know, working only a couple of hours a week and spending all that time doing nothing, which to me gives me anxiety.  Absolutely. And I think this is, this is a real challenge that in our society, we hold up on the pedestal leisurely activities.

Like, well, you know, scrolling social media, um, running home at the end of the week to have our gin and tonic and kick back and watch Netflix. And we're aiming for these outcomes that actually don't bring us enjoyment. And that's  how I came upon this passion I have for flow quite, um, quite a while ago was.

Thank you. Is real enjoyment in life, these pleasurable things that are fleeting and that come and go, or is there something else? And what I, what I found through that is that flow is really us living our lives and optimal level. So it's the experience of our life. So the moment, the small moments that make up what our life is.

And to me, that doesn't come from pleasure. It comes from pushing ourselves out of our comfort zone.  And so I think that work offers the perfect  kind of space or kind of container for us to do that if we set it up with the right conditions for us to really thrive and to be at our best and to perform at our best.

And that's really interesting because I think about, you know, for example, some people might be posting on social media, it might be joining a podcast. It might be going and networking feels really uncomfortable. I don't want to do it. You know, I, I, you know, some people just don't like socializing, but you know, before you go to a networking event, you're like, Oh, it could be easy just to stay home on the couch, but you go and that energy that you come back with is so like, you can't explain it, right.

And even those moments I've had from. For example, going live on social media or posting something that someone's resonated with. And of course there's those vanity metrics hits, but we've got to be mindful of those, but those, that deeper connection that you have with someone, because you've shared something of value.

I started posting about my Whipple's operation on TikTok in  2021. And I still get messages now from people that have had one and feel lost and search me on TikTok and find me. I have Antonio from Spain in my inbox at the moment sharing how he's just had his surgery. And that feeling, even though, you know, stepping out of your comfort zone and sharing that journey on social media is quite overwhelming.

The feeling of knowing that I've impacted someone far outweighs. You know, me, Oh, I could use that time to relax and watch Netflix. You know what I mean? Like the, the, the work I had to put in to put that content out there, I was posting quite consistently in that time. And it wasn't for a business kind of, but it felt like a bit of a job because I was posting on social media.

But isn't it interesting that the things that we think, Oh, it'd be easier just to not do it  because I don't want to step out of my comfort zone. Other things that give us the most energy later on. Which I think is quite fascinating. Yeah, absolutely. And we've kind of got a bit mixed up about what enjoyment is.

Um, I love, so the father of flow, um, was someone called Michal Csikszentmihalyi. Um, so he did the original research and he wasn't looking for flow. He was actually researching what makes people happy. And so his research, um, looked at people in all sorts of situations across the world, chess players, people in factories, um,  mountain climbers, all sorts of ranges of people.

And he found out when people were most happy, they were at this beautiful kind of intersection of being challenged at the right level for their skill. So,  um, it comes with us having the right capability, but being pushed just beyond that. So we're in that growth zone so that we're developing ourselves.

And I think there's something really magical about embracing a growth mindset  in everything we do that can really enhance our experience. And if we can focus on that rather than the outcome, what we find is that enjoyment flourishes and we have a better life and everything happens really well. And we get the performance that we're seeking and we get the results and the outcome, but it's done in a way that's fulfilling and that kind of makes us feel kind of alive.

Hmm. Well, that leads perfectly into what I thought you would be perfect to talk about on this podcast is what I find is a lot of people say, Oh, well, I didn't start my business to become a content creator. Totally get it. Like, that's not what we're here to do. We're here to create impact, but the best, well, one of the not quickest, but on a bigger scale to create our impact and to reach more people is of course, to show up on platforms like social media.

And you know, what you're sort of talking about is a lot of the times we say like, okay, well. You know, everyone's talking about getting X amount of money in X amount of timeframe or X amount of followers from, you know, or, you know, we're looking at vanity metrics, we're looking at all these things and we get so obsessed with it.

That we forget to actually enjoy the process. And I think the energy you put into your content or how you show up is noted in how people receive it. So if you think, Oh, I hate social media, I hate creating content. I just do it because I know I have to.  That's when you don't see those results that you're looking for.

So I think that's really interesting. You talk about like. That journey of  finding fulfillment in something that's going to help you get you closer towards your goals. So I'd love to touch on sort of  that in relation to a lot of business owners that you work with and how we're always looking for that goal, that end, you know, state, but I guess.

There's always going to be another goal. There's always going to be something else. So what kind of advice do you give to your clients that always looking for that, you know, whether it's a dollar amount, whether it's amount of, um, traction, whatever it is to actually enjoy that process and use flow to, you know, actually be on that journey.

I think like, that's why I connected this campaign. Cause it's about travel and travel's a journey. There's no end goal. And that's kind of the same thing with anything we do. End goal is like what retirement or death.  Really should think about it, like the ultimate, like that's the ultimate end, right? Um, but  it's, it's a really interesting question and one that has many kind of like, I'm like, which, which, um, rabbit warren do I go down with it?

I think firstly to help people, I think I try to help them to get back to,  uh, just a reflection on this one precious life that we have. Like, why are we here? Like, why are you doing this? What do you want to get out of it? So it's always comes back to, and sometimes in our busy lives, in our businesses, we don't actually have the space to actually remember like, who am, who am I, who do I want to show up as, and what do I actually want and why?

So that's kind of the, the, the, the beginning parts of that is so once people understand that they then can prioritize  what they actually want rather than what they're being told they should have. So I think that most people just go from day to day activity to activity without creating the space for that really important reflection, which is who do I want to be?

And why do I want to be it?  And really, what do I want to contribute to the world? So once you understand that, it's about helping people reframe  from those outcomes, whether it be the results or the dollars to actually.  Put their experience as a priority. So we don't put our experience in, in like priority when you're actually, so when I do exercises with my coaching clients about visualizing them performing at their best, then they visualize crossing the finish line or, you know,  winning the client, you know, the big kind of ticket things, but they never prioritize how subjectively in that moment.

The pleasure, the sensations, what they're going to experience. And that's all about flow. So we work a lot to understand how do I want to be and feel and experience that moment, and that's going to be our goal and yes, the result and the, whatever it is, the money and all the things will come.  But there's a much better way to get there and a much more fulfilling one.

And I love it. It reminds us like that Tony Robbins quote, right? It's not about the goal. It's the person that you become to achieve that goal. And I think we forget that. And, you know, there's so many millionaires out there that. Later on in life or rock stars or celebrities that have all this fame and fortune and all that, and they go back, yeah, but I wasn't happy because they're always, as soon as you get to that one goal, there's always another one.

So where do you draw that line? And I think that's a big thing that's happened to me this year. It's like, you just got like, no matter what task you're doing, enjoy doing it. And that's what I'm really focused on is like being really present when I'm doing something, because I think you give it love and energy, and you feel good while you're doing it.

It's not just to tick it off your list. So lots of people have, you know, their marketing, their business admin, all their to do list tasks, and they're just trying to get it ticked off so that they can turn their computer off  and shut off for the day. Not, you know, kind of just doing it in autopilot. So how can we sort of, I guess, um, you know, and flow, when we think about flow, I know a lot of people have heard flow state before, right?

Like, Oh, I get into flow state and that helps, you know, like me be in the zone and time flip, but like, there's so much more to flow than being in flow state. Right. I know you talk about this, so I'd love to touch on that. Like when we talk about being in flow, it's. It's more than just the state that you get yourself in to get shit done, right?

Yeah, and that, and you've touched on something like very close to my heart. So I think flow often gets bandied around for a couple of things. One is I've seen so much recently about flow being just used as a productivity tool.  And does flow help with productivity? Yes, it does. Like the, and I've shared this with you before, the McKinsey research that show executives are five times as productive in flow than when they're not in flow.

So you want that state, right? But then I think it ends up with flow being quite a technical solution to, um, uh, like a business problem or a kind of a life problem. And it is, but there's so much more deeper than that. And then the other, um, solution that it often, um, solves is something like in elite sports.

So in elite sports, flow's the holy grail because everybody's chasing the flow state because it's when you perform at your best and it's all very kind of charged to achieving, you know, um, and it often gives the impression that you need to be hanging off the edge of a mountain to achieve flow, which is absolutely not right.

And it's why I always go back to Chicks Hemi, Chicks Hemihai's work, because it all started with ordinary people like  People in factories, people playing chess, people playing with their children, people doing these things in life, and how do you find flow in that? So, in a nutshell, flow is performing and feeling at your best, but it's done through an effort of controlling your inner experience.

And so, I sometimes, depending on who I'm talking to, say, you know, harmony with consciousness. That sometimes resonates with people, but it's about, uh, inner States and how we're showing up in the world. And that in a state is the reflection of what happens in the external world. Because at the end of the day, we can't control the stuff that happens out there.

The only thing we can control is what's internal and the more congruency we have with our internal state, the more we can show up and be our absolute best. So it's just this thread of living your best life. Like that's flow.  It's not those kind of quick fixes to productivity and winning gold medals. Hmm.

Yeah. Great point because we're always looking for that shortcut. Right. And  I think we've got lost along the way because there's so much marketing messaging about shortcuts and how to get there. And then for what reason, what point you got to lose yourself to get there? Like you've got to go against maybe ethics.

Maybe you've got to, to get to what? Like just an income out, like, or a follower number or whatever that is. But for what reason, and I love what you say, like how you, you know, connecting back to who I am and what do I want to achieve. And a lot of the times I don't think we set out to achieve this income goal or this number of followers or whatever it's.

about achieving the impact that you want to have. And often that gets lost in, in the world. So I don't know, have you ever read the alchemist? Yeah. I'm listening to it on audio. It's like one of Mitch's favorite books. Um, we're listening to it and there's a story in that, that I found quite interesting.

It's so as the, the God is telling, um, the shepherd, he's telling him a story about the wise men and someone went to the wise men and he talked about it. You know, go through my, this is me just very much summarizing it and butchering it. But anyway, going through my, my grounds and my, my castle, but you have a tablespoon of oil and that oil cannot drop.

So the guy goes through and he focuses on the oil and he comes back and he says, okay, the oil's on the spoon. He said, but you didn't appreciate the grounds, the, the dining room, all the work that I've put into it. So go back. And focus on everything around him. And he did, and he come back and the oil was gone.

And the point of the story is we're always going through life. We need to try and balance the oil, but also observe what's around us. And I think that is when you sort of said like the harmony, conscious harmony, and sort of like, it's that it's right. Like creating that sort of balance where you're.

Putting the energy and the work into something, but you're also appreciating what is around and in for what it is. And I think that kind of resonated with me when I listened to it. Cause I thought, Oh, that's kind of what life is about. Right.  It's, it's bringing into it this. So life flow follows presence or focus or attention in the current moment.

Like you can't have  flow unless you're fully absorbed in the thing that you're doing. Um, and so that's like the person who's holding the spoon, right? They're taking that or they're fully absorbed in the experience of carrying that out and what that means. And we often, um, I heard a really good description of how human beings are just brains on sticks that we're just like, we walk around, we don't, we kind of just experience the world through our thinking.

And like, That's often not a very good place to be because it's thoughts about yesterday, tomorrow, and generally, if it's  thoughts about tomorrow, they're anxious and you are all thoughts about the past and you're worried about them like so you've constantly in this churn of your brain kind of going through this process.

And so you just a stick with a brain who's constantly thinking. But how do we get to a place when we get control of that in a world where we actually are experiencing the world as it is, because we're missing it right. And look,  I totally get we're in a world that is totally pulling us away from this, which I think is challenging with social media and  all these other things that are kind of making us more and more distracted.

But hence, if we do want to have an enjoyable life, we need to create the conditions for us to show up and be our best and take control. Hmm. Okay. And so people are probably wondering, well, Alex, how do I do that?  What? So how do you bring attention? How long is the piece of street? How do we, what things do we need to put into our lives to help us, you know, be in flow or to, yeah, just pay attention to what's happening around us.

I think we are, lots of us do things on autopilot, as I said, to get the to do list rather than, Actually enjoy it. I just see it a lot with, obviously, cause this is a content marketing podcast. Like, as I said to you before the call, I had a client doing my course. She's like, I just don't like it. I don't like content.

And that's fine. Obviously you've got to, you know, find your balance and outsource what you don't like or whatever it is. But there are moments where like, how can I enjoy this if I have to absolutely do it? And I think like, how can I not just do it for the sake of it, but do it In the best way I can. And you talked about this when you did your talk with South by Southwest,  how can even making a cup of tea, how can you do that in your absolute best?

Because how can you do bigger things? Well, if you're not doing the small things well, so what do we need to do to start performing  at our best and getting the most out of ourselves in our business?  Yeah. I look, I I'll go back to the example of this, this person, like I'd love to have a chat to her because I, I'm curious about a couple of things like she doesn't like it, she doesn't want to do it.

So I'd firstly start to go, okay,  well don't do it. Like if you don't like it, don't do it. And what will the impact of that be? So there's obviously some level of energy to wanting to do this. So I think, um, motivation is a big precondition to flow. Okay. Sorry.  How can we shift our motivation so it's in the right place?

Because sometimes if we see the activity in  as a pathway to get to a bigger vision or a bigger  contribution to the world, we're kind of more willing to let ourselves go into the moment.  Um, so I definitely explore motivation with them and like, why, why, what is it about it? Why just you don't like it? And then the other side that I'd look at is,  around the challenge.

So maybe the level of challenge is too much for her skill right now. And maybe that she just doesn't feel like she has either the confidence or the skill to be able to step up to that. So how could she kind of break it down and get some small wins so that she can get that sense of, Oh, I'm actually, Not bad at it.

And then she can build that level of confidence. So I think that whenever I talk about the conditions, I talk about building the skill level to the appropriate level of challenge, and then also the motivation side of things and exploring that.  Hmm. That's great. Because I think, yeah, sometimes we bite off a little bit more than we can chew because we see all these people like, Oh, I post three times.

I literally saw someone do an ad. This is how I post three times a day on social media. I'm like, what? Oh my God. Not even art lab. Well, technically we do as we're creating content for multiple. For different businesses, but like, huh? That would give me anxiety. And I think sometimes we're taking on a little bit too much challenge as you're saying for those levels.

Yeah. What's the smallest thing she could do. Right. So I've got a coaching client who  she just didn't like posting on LinkedIn. Like she just did not have the confidence mainly because a lot of the people she used to work with were on LinkedIn and she still was, um, still had a bit of a fear of their opinion, um, which we've now worked through, which is great.

Um, but she actually felt more comfortable on Instagram. And so she  said, I'm going to post on Instagram, but then we had to get her to create a separate account where all of her family and friends weren't following it. She kind of started from scratch. So it's kind of breaking it down to go. What's the smallest level we can get where you do feel comfortable.

And it might simply be writing something and just sending it to you rather than it being seen, but you don't like, so it's about how can you, and I love the Goldilocks rule around the challenge. It's like making the challenge, not too much, not too little, but just right for that person.  To be able to get to that level of enjoyment for them.

Yeah. And that's a really good point with like, you know, lots of advice online of how often should I show up? Where should I show up? What should I be posting? But actually never takes into consideration the person actually doing it. And obviously a lot of people listening to this podcast are entrepreneurs, small business owners.

They're doing it themselves. One of the biggest things that I learned in this journey is. Finding the right channel for you that you enjoy. Yeah, cool. We could go marketing data and go, well, statistically you should be here, here and here, but if you don't want to be on LinkedIn, why would I force someone to be on LinkedIn when they're not comfortable?

Because they're not going to give it their all and the energy in it and people are just going to scroll past it anyway. So what, like, what is the point? And I love that you suggested that because that's something I'm a really big believer in. I get a lot like, Oh, what channel should I be on? What channel do you like showing up on?

Is my first question, because I'm not going to force you to go on, you know, Yeah. I could say to all my clients, Tik Tok is great. There's lots of traction on there, but like most people are like, nah. So what, you know what I mean? Like there's so many different places where you could arguably say, you should show up on there.

And I don't like the word should, I don't like using it with people because I think it's like, well, why would I force you to be in somewhere if you're not going to enjoy it? It's just going to be forced. And I actually had a woman on my podcast.  Um, start of 2023, she hated social media. So she just went off it and now she does her blog, her podcast, and her email list, and she's happy as, and that works for her, isn't it interesting.

It is so interesting, but I think that this sometimes with people, they don't know why they don't want to do something.  Um, so she may be saying, I hate writing, I don't want to do it. So to me, she's got some hidden assumptions or beliefs that maybe she's not even aware of that may be stopping her and acting against her.

Um, I love the work of Bob Keegan and Lisa Laney. Who have done a lot of work around the immunity to change model, which is a model that enables you to understand why you make the new year's resolution and you never do it because you actually have a cognitive immune system that's working against you and again, probably too complicated for this conversation.

But I think. It's just about the power of our subconscious and all of our beliefs and the power of having to work on yourself because often we don't know, right? We behave and do things because we've always done them that way. Unless we create the space to really explore that, we can be held back by these hidden forces.

Um, that manifest as us. I hate writing. I can't do it. But unless you sort out the source of that, you can keep fighting that. Um, it's never going to go away.  Yeah, and it's so interesting because like, obviously as a marketer, I'm like, okay, this is, you know, this is logically where we need to be, what we need to do, dah, dah, dah.

And I had, um, one of my clients, she does some ERT, emotional release technique. And she said to me, you do these, um,  uh, quarterly measurement workshops for your community, whatever, but like some people have a trigger around numbers. So they're probably not going to join because of that trigger that's holding them back.

And obviously I'm not in mindset. That's why I get experts like you to come on, but it seems to be this missing link between entrepreneurs. Getting to that next level in their business, because they've spent all their money on, um, you know, ads and, you know, this and that and whatever. And they're like, why am I not getting to that next level?

Oh, absolutely.  Yeah. I mean, and this is not a work related example, but it was one of the first immunity to change, um, activities I did on myself. Yeah. Um, I freaked out every night because the Lego in our house was not put away. So every night, um, before the kids went to bed, I insisted that the Lego went away.

Now, I don't know, I have young kids, right? They're tired, exhausted. The last thing they want to do is clear away the Lego. So usually about quarter to seven every night, our house would explode into people yelling, people crying, people being for, so right before people are going to bed, I would cause this commotion and I didn't understand why I did it, I just did it.

And when we peeled back what was going on through the immunity to change, we actually found out that I had this belief that if my house wasn't spotless before I went to bed. so much. Then I wasn't a good mother.  So,  but that wasn't showing up, right. It was the fact that. Um, I just wanted the Lego away, but that belief about being a good mother, which actually stemmed from my mother and her behavior was playing out to cause that.

And once I knew that I was like, holy shit, like I don't, that's not me or a good mother. That doesn't even make sense. And so I was able to then experiment and change my behavior and it's the same in business. We have these things that hold us back and that we need to explore.  And we often don't do them on our own, because one, we never have time, and two, we don't see things.

Past where other people can see it, you know, like having a coach or a mentor, like yourself allows us to go. Ah, I've never thought of it in that way because you're reframing it from a different lens. And I think like,  you know, business coaching, all that is great. And I've had a lot, but when I actually have gone like actively worked on my mindset.

I think that's also, you know, you've got to find that balance between business growth and personal growth because you're the CEO of your business. Why are you not investing in yourself? The CEOs in corporate companies get coaches, right? You know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They all have one, right? It's just what happens.

It's so interesting. So the one other thing I wanted to touch on, because I really loved this quote that you shared, um, from South by Southwest. And it was a quote about chart GBT. And basically it was like AI is like, um, taking the helicopter to the top of Everest rather than doing the trek yourself, you know, again, summarized.

And I want to talk about this because this is really interesting because this could be tangible for anything, not just using AI. For, um, anything we do in our business, but  how I want to learn from you and sort of your interpretation of this is the, the concept of the journey versus finding the shortcut.

And I think this happens more so a lot in marketing online is that we always want to find that shortcut rather than the concept of taking the journey. And yeah, what, what advice would you give anyone listening? That's like,  They're between this like, Oh yeah, I want to develop, I want to grow, I want to learn, but also I want to do it fast.

Yeah.  Oh, look, I get it. Right. Cause I'm one of those people who wants, I want it all now, like I'm very ambitious. I want it all yesterday. Yeah, absolutely. And I think we're similar like that. We, we've got really big ambitions, but I think that we can get caught up, right. We've missing the journey. There's that quote about, you know, you got to smell the roses along the way.

Otherwise you kind of, you miss, you miss life. And we miss the opportunity to enjoy life and be fulfilled because the journey is where it's at. And that kind of comes back to this thing about flow. Flow is about Your optimal experience. It's about creating that journey up the mountain and it's through the journey that the best moments of your life will happen and ordinary moments will turn into extraordinary moments.

And it's why every person who climbs Mount Everest gets to the top. Has a look around for a while and then they're off because it's not about the top and generally a lot of people are looking down from the top going,  there's another mountain over there. That's the one I want to climb because it's over for them, you know, that they've moved on because the journey's there.

And it's really hard, right? Because society does not teach us this. It gives us the message, the totally opposite messages to these. But the consolance I take with that is, we wouldn't have so many people stressed out, depressed, and frankly unhappy and feeling disconnected with the world  if we were doing it right.

So, we can keep on doing what we're doing now, but it's not getting us the right results in our world for humanity.  Yeah, that's, that's powerful. So we're going to wrap up, but I want to know, I want to leave everyone with one piece of advice for any small business owner who they're doing their own marketing.

They're doing all the things in their business. Really, let's be honest, we're wearing, depending on what hat we've got on in a different day, and it can be switching the hat  to help them feel more free, more authentic and enjoy this process more. Because I think. You know, I kind of associate it to the gym.

You don't one day wake up and go, Oh, tick successfully done gym. Like I don't need to go ever again. I've conquered gym. I think we've got this thing in our mindset that we need to conquer being a successful business owner. But I think we possibly get to decide that, but I want to know, yeah. What parting advice would you give for anyone listening?

Yeah, I, it's a.  mindset shift. And I think it sounds small, but it's really, um, significant, which is  prioritizing flow in our lives, which really just means prioritizing our optimal experience. So instead of  Tackling something with what we want to get out of it and the results or the outcome, it's shifting our perspective, perspective in everything we do to say, how am I going to grow in this moment?

How am I going to develop myself in this moment? How am I going to enjoy this moment? And just practicing that, right. Practicing that shift of perspective and reminding yourself as you go into your day, or as you go into that next meeting, just like I did for this podcast. Um, I did, um, a technique that I use with my clients, which is ready, steady flow.

So it's about ready. I'm putting on my flow mindset. I, my intention here is to show up for the experience in itself. Um, steady looking at my kind of physiology and how I'm showing up and making sure that I'm absolutely present for this moment. Um, and just being sort of fully in the moment.  And then it's flow, which is actually prioritize being fully absorbed in the moment, um, feeling fully present with you.

being effortlessly in control of this moment and just enjoying this moment for the sake of the moment, because these are the moments that are the best moments in life. It's the only thing we have.  Oh, that's beautiful. I love that because it's, it's so true. And a lot of times we're on things and we're thinking about what we're going to do next.

And we're, you know, we've like a lot of people are on zoom meetings and looking at their emails and working at the same time and which, you know, is a recipe for disaster. So I love that. I think it's just Trying to find that presence in everything you do. I think that's the key to the life for me. It's like just being like, I'm always doing, I want to be more being, cause I think we do don't actually be.

And as you've said, that's when you reflect on your life, they're the key things. Like yesterday we, I got back from meeting up with someone that lives locally. It was really cool to meet someone that I've met online. And I got back to work in the tent and because I was being present, I overheard someone looking at whales.

So I went, Oh, Mitch, there's whales. But if I had have not been paying attention to everything around me, even though I was still working, I wouldn't have paid attention to what they're doing. And I would have missed out on that thing. And I went to bed feeling so grateful and happy for that tiny moment in my day.

And it like made my whole day so much more special because. I saw that and that was super magical. And I like, I remember like even waking up and being like, I can't believe that happened. And which is like, I love marine animals. I wanted to be a biologist. And I was just like, that was that like, you know, obviously small thing in my day that just made it so much more special.

But I think if. We're not in those moments to be present. We're going to miss it. And we're going to go through life in autopilot. Yeah. And you've just passed that on to me, right? Like I've got this sense of like magic and wonder and awe about your moment with the whales. So it's still that sense of enjoyment has kind of gone through the night with you and is still going.

And we, we underestimate the power of small moments. We think they're just fleeting, um, but it's, they're so powerful. Hmm. I love that. So if anyone's listening and goes, Ooh, I need more Alex in my life, Alex effect, there is such a thing as the Alex effect, as your client has said to you before,  how, what does it look like to be in Alex's world and to work with you?

And what are some of the things that you offer clients and the things that you work on with them?  Um, so I help people find their optimal experience and I do it through the construct of work because like I said earlier, I think that's a perfect way to do it. So I work with entrepreneurs and founders and executives to help them find their optimal experience in work so they can perform and feel at their best.

And I do that through coaching. So it's creating that space that we've talked about for people to work on themselves. Um, themselves show up, um, self regulate, have that belief in themselves, um, and really kind of live that best life that they want to live.  I love it. Well, we have all of the links in the show notes, so you can check out Alex's world.

She has her website and social, but we'll put them in the show notes for everyone to Learn more about you and connect with you. Cause yeah, we all need more Alex in our life. That's definitely for sure. Since I've had you in my life, I'm definitely changed my perspective in how I look at my work and what I do.

And even I think a big takeaway from this is  finding your own enjoyment because I really love what I do and I've been made to feel like. That's a bad thing to want to work and to want to do what I want to do. And I think, yeah, you know, work is a big part of our lives. So we want to find fulfillment in it.

And I have, and for some reason there's this guilt around it. So it's been working through that, which has been, um, you know, just. Checking in with myself and being like, okay, is watching a Netflix, um, documentary, uh, at night. Again, am I going to remember that? Maybe, maybe not. But am I going to remember the impact that I have through the work I do?

A hundred percent. So I love that. so much for joining and sharing your magic. You are so good at what you do. And I just wanted to share that with the world, because as I said, we all need some more Alex in our life.  You're so lovely. Thank you for inviting me. It's always a pleasure to speak to you and to speak on these topics very close to my heart.

Thank you so much.