244: How to show up and feel authentically online with Zoe Boyce

We hear this all the time… “be authentic when you show up online”. 

While this is great, the marketing world doesn’t often look at it from a different lens. The lens of mindset. 

This episode of The Content Queen Podcast shares what authenticity looks like from a deeper level and how you can check in to make sure you are energetic about showing up online because you do feel authentic. 

If you LOVED this episode, make sure you share this on your Instagram stories and tag us @contentqueenmariah and @livingwholistically 

✨⁠⁠⁠Want to learn our signature framework to help with content strategy? Take our FREE workshop⁠⁠⁠✨⁠ ⁠⁠

KEY EPISODE TAKEAWAYS 👇

  • What is authenticity online 

  • How to check in to see if you are being authentic 

  • How to shift how you use social media  

  • How to be more authentic

SHOW RESOURCES 👇

If you like this episode, don't forget to share it to your Instagram stories and tag me⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ @contentqueenmariah⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!

Other than that, enjoy - chat next week 💕

ABOUT THE GUESTS

Passionate about holistic wellness and personal growth, Zoe is a dedicated holistic health guide. With a background in Naturopathy and Emotion Release Technique, she is committed to empowering women and mothers to thrive physically, mentally, and emotionally. Through through emotional clearing and nervous system regulation, Zoe compassionately guides her clients through the discomfort, whilst teaching them about the fundamental pillars of health and helping them cultivate vibrant well-being in every aspect of their lives.

PODCAST TRANSCRIPTION

This is episode 244. I'm talking all about how to show up and feel authentic with naturopath and emotional release technique practitioner, Zoe Boyce. Welcome to the content queen podcast. I'm your host, Mariah, entrepreneur, storyteller, digital nomad, creative content bootcamp, and founder of content queen.

I'm here to teach you how to share your unique story, create content, and market your business with strategy through the channels that work for you. Each week I'll deliver a story to help you connect to a powerful, Strategy around marketing, business, and content creation. And I'll also be joined by amazing souls and entrepreneurs who are here to share their own journey along with actual steps to help you take your business to a whole new level through amazing storytelling, powerful online marketing, and content strategy.

Let's do it. Hello, gang. All right.  This is an interesting episode, especially if you've been feeling a little bit drained with your content. Could be a good sign that maybe you need to think about how you're showing up a little bit more authentically to you. And this is a big thing. I talk a lot about finding the channels that work for you, the strategy, sharing your stories, being authentic, but it's always amazing to hear from people from different walks of life that serve different audiences in different ways to come on and share it from a different lens at a different angle, rather than from the marketing side, which is very, you know, Do this, do that, and it doesn't think about the really deep intrinsic things that are happening within us.

So that's why we need different experts to come on and chat. And I'm really excited for you to hear more about what Zoe shares. She says, you know, how to check in with your energy to see if you're being authentic and what you can do to kind of shift that perspective and, you know, to feel more in alignment.

Now there might be channels that you don't feel aligned on, but you're like, Oh, I've got to be there.  Because my audience is there or whatever. And this is where we really need to connect to, okay, in what capacity,  what does that look like? How can I get support in that? And how can I just make it more enjoyable for myself?

And I've had this happen with clients, you know, with LinkedIn and things like that, but then over the journey, finding a way to make it really work for us, then they start to like the platform and enjoy it. So  I'm going to introduce Zoe and you hear the amazing words of what she had to say. So, passionate about holistic wellness and growth, Zoe is a dedicated holistic health guide.

With a background in naturopathy and emotional release technique, she is committed to empowering women and mothers to thrive physically, mentally and emotionally, through and through emotional clearing and nervous system regulation. Zoe compassionately guides her clients through the discomfort whilst teaching them about fundamental pillars of health and helping them cultivate vibrant wellbeing in every aspect of their lives.

So let's hear from Zoe. Welcome Zoe to the podcast. I'm very excited to have you on. Can you tell everyone a little bit more about who you are and what you do? Yeah, so I'm Zoe Boyce, I'm a naturopath and I really focus on nervous system regulation and emotional release. So I basically started my journey sort of as the average naturopath by looking at like diet and a bit of lifestyle stuff, maybe supplements and herbs and things.

But I really started evolving around into looking at the fundamental pillars, like how we can really support our health naturally without a lot of input. You know, especially in this day and age when cost of living and all of that is just crazy, really looking at how we can support ourselves. with natural ways, whether they're free or pretty cheap, in our day to day life, to really live the most healthy and abundant and, you know, authentic life that we can.

And that sort of led me to find this more nervous system regulation and emotional aspect that is often really the missing piece to a lot of health issues, whether they're physical, mental, emotional. So yeah, that's kind of, A little taster of my journey so far. I love it. And what I love is, you know, having people from different life experiences on the podcast.

Cause I think we can always learn from, you know, different things. For example, you know, we're talking marketing content. But it's amazing how that sort of nervous system that, you know, how we live our general lives can help how we show up in our business, whether it is to market it or, you know, showing up to serve our audience.

And I have been doing some work with you on emotional release, and I feel like it is definitely helping me in that next level of my more authentic self and acceptance. And, and I think. It's interesting when you first get started in a business, you're like, Oh, excited. So it's fine. Like, you know, you can kind of push through the fears cause you're really excited.

But actually what I found is the more I'm on this business journey, the more mindset things actually come up that didn't before, because there was sort of this beginner's mind. Um, and I think what happens is we get, you know, our mindset starts catching up to us and we go, hang on, there's some things you've got to work on.

And it does really impact how we show up day to day, whether it is on social media.  Whether it is to our clients. So I'm really excited to dive into a little bit more about that. But before we do, everyone really loves hearing the origin stories of those who come on the show. So how did you get to where you are now, the business you're doing and everything that you've done in your career to get to here?

Yeah. So for me, it really started as a personal journey. I think like for a lot of people, you know, I, I was very blessed to have quite a healthy childhood and teen years, had a few little niggles and things I think that were just, you know, as considered normal, um, then used to get UTIs a lot as a, you know, 20 year old, young 20 year old and things like that.

But what really, um, when the rubber hit the road for me was wanting to fall pregnant and have my first child. And I dipped my toe in natural health a lot as like a teenager with natural makeup and things. And things I used to break out whenever I'll I was never a girly girl anyway, but, you know, trying to put a bit of mascara on or something to go out for the night and my eyes were getting flamed and, you know, a rash on my face and learning about, oh, there's natural options out there, they're better for you, better for the environment.

And I always felt very connected to nature. So anything that it would sort of help, you know, nature and the environment and help myself at the same time, I was really down for that.  And so that little niggle was there and I was like  wanting, thinking, I want to fall pregnant, have a baby. I really want the best pregnancy and birth and healthy baby that I possibly can.

So I started going down that rabbit hole of low tox living and looking at what I was eating. And I think they're sort of like the gateway drug almost for most people going into health. You know, they start at the diet, maybe looking at, You know, the toxins in their life, maybe a bit of exercise and stuff like that.

And that's very much where I started as well. So learning a lot about that, finding some really awesome mentors in that space.  doing some online courses. And, you know, it was great. I fell pregnant really easily, had an amazing pregnancy. It was all great, but then had quite a traumatic birth within the medical system and the hospital system.

And really that tipped me over into finding that more emotional and nervous system stuff, because, um, I always knew I wanted another baby, um, you know, and I never wanted to just have an only child, but I couldn't bring myself to even contemplate falling pregnant again and having to go through a similar experience within the hospital system.

And then if that, if I couldn't do that, well, then home birth could be an option, but then that seemed really scary as well. And so it was all just sort of swept under the rug. And I was like, Oh, One day, I'll fall pregnant again maybe, like I just couldn't deal with it. And then, one day my chiropractor said, You know, I'm working on the same thing with you.

It's the same pain coming up. I think you've got some emotional stuff going on, and you should see my colleague who does emotional release. And I was like,  alright, like I do love a bit of woo woo, so let's jump in. And, you know, it's really not woo woo. It does seem like it, but it's a little like there can be grounded in science and stuff.

Like there's stuff that we understand why that we are holding on to these emotions and with our nervous system and that. But it did seem really woo woo to me at the time. Um, but I went and saw him and I went from not even being able to contemplate. I barely even letting my, you know, probably a little bit too much information, but barely letting my husband touch me.

Cause I was like, I don't want to fall pregnant. That's way too scary. And To like, yeah, oh cool, like let's do this, I'm ready to fall pregnant. Six months later, or  not even, I don't think, I think like three months later, I was pregnant. I had a home birth, I actually had a free birth with just my husband and I at home.

And like all the fear and everything was gone through working through that emotional release and releasing that trauma and stuff that I'd been holding on to in my nervous system. And you know, it's understandable, we hold on to all of that stuff to keep us safe. After we've experienced those sorts of things, but it doesn't serve you in your day to day after that experience has happened.

And we can't consciously change what we're holding onto subconsciously. So finding that missing piece was a real game changer for me. And I started to incorporate that too, into my naturopathic practice with my clients. And I realized the more that I helped them regulate their nervous system and release these emotions, the less they really needed all the supplements and the herbs and all of these external things after they were peeling back these layers of trauma and emotions that were stuck in their nervous system.

So that is my main focus now, really looking at those fundamental pillars,  helping educate my clients to be, um, you know, I guess their own naturopath. You know, that they can heal themselves and really find that trust and faith in their own body again. Mm-Hmm. Um, and yeah, do it with a bit of support from me and then going off, you know, into the wild and doing it themselves sort of thing.

I love that. And yeah. Wow. What a story, isn't it? Interesting how things come up for us and then they turn out to be something we're really passionate about helping others with. So I love that. Now, we want to talk about this sort of authenticity and being able to show up authentically as ourselves. I mean, in everyday life, but obviously being a marketing and content marketing podcast,  let's go the online space for business owners.

And, um, yeah, we, we know that there's a lot of things that block us from being who we are. You know, the. the person you see, you know, if we go to a networking event versus the person online can actually often be different. And we don't want that. We want to see someone and they're like, Oh my God, you're exactly how you are on social media.

And it's like, yeah, I know,  because that that's being authentic. Right. So what does showing up online authentically look like and feel like for you with your own business and what you do, um, you know, sharing your wisdom to the world. You know what, when I first started, scary is what it looked like and felt like.

Because there is so much messaging out there in the online space that, you know, when you first join in and you're first learning about how to show up in that space, you just want to copy what everyone else is doing. Because, like, oh, well that works for them, so it must work for me. Or, you know Oh, I can't show my authentic self because that doesn't match what everyone else is doing.

So maybe that's the wrong thing. And, you know, I can't show that quirky side of myself because I'll be judged. And this isn't just about comparing ourselves to others. It's about those layers of emotion and trauma that we've experienced through our life that has told us that it's not safe to show ourselves.

You know, so deep down under  our inner core, our core values, our authentic self, that is how we were when we were first born. You know, this beautiful new baby coming out, not a blank slate at all. I don't believe in that sort of idea of child pedagogy. I was a primary school teacher as well, so I've got a bit of a grounding in like, child development psychology and stuff.

But um, we're definitely born with, you know, our own beautiful personalities and values and things. But we're programmed, particularly for the first seven years or so of our life, and then a good chunk of teen years as well. Anyone who's been through some high school drama knows all about the programming that can happen in that time of life as well.

But they're just like layers and layers of programming telling us how we show up, how we should be acting, how we should be behaving in life.  Some of it's really helpful, you know, we want to learn some table manners. So we're not, you know, out at a nice restaurant shoving food in our mouth. Like there are things that help us fit into our culture, into our society, and know how to interact with people in a way that is going to be beneficial for all of the people within that relationship.

But then there's parts of that layering and programming that is actually stifling who we truly are, because it was given to us By people trying to force us into a mold of what they expected from us, or, you know, their own conditioning coming through, like our parents could be meaning very well meaning and loving in how they're trying to raise us, but it's coming from their own conditioning from maybe an older generation that just doesn't fit in our modern society anymore, doesn't fit with who you are authentically as yourself, you know, and so coming and showing up in that online realm with all of that layering and programming, you know, It's just adding to that, like it's bringing that up, that trauma, it's like, oh, I can't show up here.

Like it's very, seen and heard is very scary, you know, and online seems like such a bigger place as well. It's like stepping out into that high school playground, you know, and how you show up there is how people are going to receive you and that can be really scary.  Oh, it's so interesting, isn't it?

Because I was thinking, as you were saying that, is when we, obviously our immediate friendship group or family, they know who we are because they've known us for however period of time. And then I guess when we meet people, we kind of, um, show we can, it's easier to show who we are in like a drip feed kind of way, I guess.

But then online, like literally you're a complete stranger. I'm Most of the time, like if there's five billion people on social media, like how many are they there that are complete strangers to you? And there is that sort of sense of, Oh my God, you know, what are people going to think of me? Um, what if I share something and get eight or, you know, someone doesn't agree, how do I navigate that?

Does that mean I'm wrong or are they wrong or who's wrong? And, you know, we know the answers to all these things, but, um, it can be that  uncomfortable feeling. And you might've. shown a little bit of yourself online and maybe got a bit of backlash or it got no engagement. And then you go, Oh, I shouldn't show who I am because no one's going to like it.

And I think, unfortunately, with these social media spaces, there is that engagement metric that can, um, paralyze us a little bit because, Oh, if someone doesn't like it, then it's mustn't be very good. And I think that's really interesting. We just talked about this in our bootcamp call about, you know,  People say to me down the street, Oh, I love what you're doing here.

Love what you're doing there. And it's like, but you don't like it on social media. And it's like, we hold this to this, I guess, regard. So I want to talk about, yeah, this, this connection, um, between being our authentic self versus our online self. And what can we do to help connect that together and, you know, really assess If we are being, I guess, authentic online to our audience or check in with ourselves and see how we're going with that or what that even looks like or what we want to show online as well.

You know, and I think, um,  one big metric of how we can tell whether we're being authentic or not to ourselves and how we're, like, how we're showing up, that can, that difference is that how taxing it is on you. Like, how tired are you? after an interaction, if you're being your authentic self and you're just like, yeah, this is me versus putting on a face and like trying to hold this persona of who you think you should be or how you should be with that particular person.

And this is coming from a recovering chameleon. Like I was very good all through high school of fitting into, I was with every single group because I could chameleon into like what I needed to be for that group, what I needed to be for that group. I was friends with everyone,  but.  There was also that part where I was like, oh wow, I do change my personality for each of those slightly.

And sometimes that's okay. You know, as I said, we learn tools, we learn habits, we learn ways of fitting into society because we don't want to be going out and making subs of ourselves at a nice restaurant and eating, you know, depending on your culture, some of the cultures eat with their hands and that's fine, but still, you know, it's very much.

how you're fitting in with society at a, you know, cultural level, um, and just being nice, being kind, being, you know, respectful of others, versus actually being a completely different person and personality, you know. So there is a balance to be had there. We will show up slightly differently depending on the group we're in or who we're talking to.

But they're just different facets of our personality. It's not being someone completely different. So if you're showing up as someone completely different, and you know it's taking a lot of your energy to hold that, and you know, when you go home, you know that it's a different person, almost.  Then, you know, that takes a lot of energy.

It takes a lot of time and space and capacity within your nervous system to be holding that. And when you're lying to others and yourself in that form,  you're actually dysregulating your nervous system more.  And I think when it comes to being an out, authentic self. We have to be really truthful and honest with ourself first before we can take it out to others.

And that can be really scary and hard because all of these layers that we've built up through our entire life are there to keep us feeling safe.  And it can also be really hard because not only do we have to push through that discomfort to get that radical honesty and start peeling back those layers a bit, But we also have to push through or even have an awareness of the difference between our conscious thoughts and feelings and what's happening in our subconscious.

And that awareness seems like if it's not there, it's not there. You can't know what you can't know that's happening within your nervous system. Um, which is where, you know, techniques outside of just conscious journaling and things like that, like what I do with my clients, which is called ERT can be really beneficial because it's.

Getting into that subconscious to see what's actually being held there. Mm-Hmm. Um, so yeah, sometimes we don't even realize that we're, you know, doing these things or following these patterns unless someone points it out to us, you know? Yeah.  I love what you say about that sort of energy. 'cause we all know there's, sometimes there's.

people that we spend time with and we might not feel super energetic when we get home. And often we go, Oh, it's that person, right. Or, or it's them. But actually from what I understand you're saying is we have to check in with how we are performing in that space. And that, you know, we can always blame social media algorithms.

Um, but are we maybe not?  Are we tired of it? Because we're not actually stepping fully into who we are. And you see this happen with people that change their brand online or something. And all of a sudden they, like, I saw this with a friend of mine.  He started on TikTok, just authentic as him. He has now  a lot of followers.

He's got a hundred thousand something followers on TikTok.  It's not about followers, but obviously he was being authentically him. And from being that, because he did a lot of work. Um, on himself, he was able to connect with people that went, Oh yeah, that's my person. And that's that trust factor, right?

Like when you're being authentically you on these platforms and that's how we sort of build trust with people because people don't, people kind of see through the BS, right? like, yeah, yeah. That's how you can kind of push through that. And people go, Oh, okay. They get it. Like, yeah, maybe they say things that everyone agrees with.

Cause that's generally what happens when you're being your authentic self. You're probably going to piss someone off. Yeah. Oh yeah, definitely.  Absolutely. And being okay with that. And this is another part of that layering, you know, we can, um, get really triggered if we show a bit of our, or our authentic self and someone pushes back or doesn't like it or says something about it.

If we've got all these layers here of unworthiness or, you know, not feeling safe in showing that, or we've been told throughout our lives that that part of ourselves isn't worthy or desirable, then it's going to be a big trigger for us. If someone does one mention, it's like, Oh God, it shuts down again and it all becomes too hard.

You know, whereas I think when you peel back these layers and you really get to that core worthiness, um, and loving self love is a big one. You know, really.  Just being solid in the grounding and knowing yourself, then when people do do the comments or whatever They say or the look or you know, then it just is water off a duck's back You don't have that hook there that does the trigger.

You're just like, oh, well, that's your opinion. See you later It doesn't bother you, but until you've peeled back those layers It's so much harder and so much more vulnerable feeling to share that inner part of yourself, you know that more authentic part  Good point. I love that. So say, for example, um, we check in and we go, Oh, I don't feel unenergized after, like, I feel like I'm being  somewhat authentic, but there's probably a few things that maybe I'm not, um, in my authenticity, there might be a few things I'm not really sharing or.

getting through that I probably would want to, but there's something holding me back. What do you recommend people do when they're sort of just like doing that general check in? They feel like they don't feel unenergized, but they know something's missing.  Is there a next step or what do you recommend people do to kind of, yeah, get through it?

continue to work through that? Yeah. Well, I mean, awareness is always the first step. Like the fact that the, that person even is like, there's something missing is such an awesome first step because, you know, there's something there to work on. And then it's kind of, yeah, judging whether, okay, Does it not feel quite right because I'm showing a site, like I'm, I'm exaggerating that part, like and that's not quite true?

Or is it not feeling quite right because I want to share a bit more but it feels scary? You know, so it's looking at like which sort of direction that's going in and then from there really digging in, okay is it scary because I actually don't really believe I'm worth this or that people won't like me for this?

And then digging in looking, you know, historically. How's that shown up in your life? You know, were you bullied at high school? Or like, did your parents really truly support you in that endeavor or that part of yourself? Or was it sort of squashed down like it's too much? Um, and then, you know, if you're, it's going the other way, if you're exaggerating or like trying to push a side of yourself, that's not quite really real, then what gap each are you trying to, again, it's this worthiness part, right?

Like trying to make yourself look a bit better than you are. Because you're like, ugh, people only like me if I'm doing that thing. You know, and people pleasing comes into this as well a little bit. Um, and then from there, you know, there's so many great techniques around like the scribble technique, where you can really sort of go, okay, I'm not feeling worthy right now, or fear's coming up for me, whatever the emotion is, and you write it on the top of the paper, and you scribble out all of that fear, or whatever the emotion is onto the paper, and then you're done.

until like you're drawing a circle and then it's just like sort of helping to move that emotion because emotion is energy it's energy in motion and we need to be moving it and processing it and expressing it out through our body and we can do that through creative means like drawing like with the scribble technique we can do it through movement like running um i love boxing you know that's a real like i was a bit angry last night some stuff happened and we have a boxing punching bag so do a bit of boxing it's great um or you know crying there's so many different ways but it's all about the movement and the motion to move that energy through.

And again, often we might have this block between our conscious and our subconscious. So that's where you're really needing to find someone to help you assess what's going on there. Like with the EIT, I do, or some kinesiologists can help, um, Yeah, because you, you, I, as I said, I love empowering my clients and really helping people to do everything they can at home themselves.

But sometimes you just need the support. You need that outside person. We all need a mentor or someone who can help us see the thing that we can't see ourselves, you know? Yeah. Yeah. That's why they say, you know, everyone needs some kind of therapy at some stage in their life, you know, because we're very, we have a natural bias to what we're doing.

So  I want to touch on something quickly around, um, okay, this concept of fake it till you make it. Right. And I, I, I remember back in the day when I had my podcast, I had these people come on and share examples of when they. faked something until they made it. And I think people say fake it till you make it, not everyone agrees with that term.

I'm not saying I agree with it either, but  with all the things with manifestation and always we're told to, you know, think it into reality and be the person that you want to be.  But of course, often what happens is we don't necessarily know if we, yeah, okay, we'd all like a million dollars, but do we want to be the millionaire that we see on social media?

That's, um, you know, being certain personality types. I think what happens is we want to fake it till we make it or, you know, manifest it into reality by being it, that often we can go down this path of like inauthenticity,  right? So how do we get that balance between  You know, being authentic, but then also going like, yeah, I want to be a millionaire.

Yeah. Like, um, so I need to do the things that millionaires do, you know, they, they talk about wealth signaling on social media. I hate it, but they do it. And you know, they do all these things that you think, oh, I've got to do that because I've got to be that person. Yeah. Yeah. And it's funny. And again, it's this missing piece component, right?

Because I was, I was there. Fake it till you make it was a bit of a mantra for me, even back in like my teaching degree and career. I only taught for four years, but you know, very young 20 year old and looking after 30 kids and parents would come in asking me, Oh, how do I get my kid to sleep more? Or they're not eating the dinner.

And I'm like, I didn't even have kids. Like, why are you asking? But I'm like, Oh, well, you know, and I fake a teammate girl. I got to look like the professional, like try and help everyone and have this outlook confidence, you know, and definitely in the side of my naturopathic career as well. I had that like, just like, yes, I know what I'm talking about.

Whereas internally, I'm like, Oh God, imposter syndrome to the max. You know, and I think  whilst we do want to have a bit of that, yeah, confidence and like, yeah, live how you sort of want to be living. And, you know.  It can go too far. We as humans love like the ends of the spectrum. We love the all or nothing stuff, right?

Like if fake it till you make it sure, like I'm going to be spending up big, huge credit card debt, like, you know, but well signaling, like, this is what it looks like. But then, there's no, like, the missing piece is all the other stuff, the clearing out of the blocks and things, so I'll touch on that. But, when we're pushing to that extreme end of the spectrum,  when we're faking it, whether it's like, yeah, the well signaling, you know, credit card out to the max, whatever, or if it's just turning up online in a way that's not truly authentic to yourself, whether it's dressing kind of differently, speaking kind of differently, whatever it is,  You're going to burn out because it's that energy sapping.

It's the constant like, this is me, facade. And then like moving back from that, it's like your nervous system's like, Oh man, like that was tough to hold up onto this. Um, so you're going to burn out by doing it. But yeah, you might get some success. Yeah. It might, you know, lead you to somewhere that you think you want to go.

But in the end, is that even where you want to go anyway? Because it's not you who's doing it. if that makes sense, you know,  you're might be trying to reach a goal that is actually someone else's goal. It's not even what is in alignment for your core value that's coming from your authentic self. So really there's like, when we're looking at being our most authentic self and within the online space and business and all of that, there's a lot of, You really have to be doing three things.

You have to be, yeah, taking aligned action. You know, sure, showing up, doing the things, you know, even if it feels hard or uncomfortable, you know, actually doing the things.  But you also need to be unblocking and clearing out those limiting beliefs. You need to be doing that deep inner work to peel back those emotional layers so that you can actually bring in those manifestations and also check in and make sure that they're in alignment with what you actually want.

You know,  on top of it, if you're going, yep, I want to be a millionaire, I'm going to earn a million dollars. And that's my goal. And you're taking the aligned action and doing the things to get there. But actually, when you start peeling back these layers and, um, unblocking the learning beliefs, your core thing is like, yeah, a million dollars is nice, but what I actually want is the freedom to go traveling, do this, be a digital nomad, rah, rah, rah.

The million dollars is just a means to an end. Then the way you show up might look quite different to then just, I want to be a millionaire,  you know? And then if they cover, uncover a bit more, your core value is actually, You know, community. It's like, oh, okay, well, yeah, I want to be a digital nomad, but I really need the community aspect.

So, and it changes slightly again to doing it with someone or finding community overseas that you can live with for three months of a year and do that every year. Like  the goal will change the more you unblock and find out who you really are on the inside. Um, so yeah. And then another aspect of it is really about.

Yeah, I guess refining that goal and seeing what's possible because if you go, yeah, I really want to be a millionaire But that's not possible because  I have to yeah wealth signal and do all that and yeah, and that's not me But then if you can find people who are doing it authentically Then you can see that it is possible So there's like three ways that we can really get in tune with our authentic selves find mentors that are doing it and unblock those limiting beliefs, then yeah, that's when we really show up authentically and know where we want to be going.

Yeah, that's amazing. That was really long winded. I hope that was okay. No, we love long winded. Um, but no, it's so true because, um, often we think, oh, well, that's not possible because of this white, this, uh,  It's like, okay,  if you say so, but if you're not actively going and trying to find, you know, the people or, um, call it, you know, doing the work on yourself to go, Oh, actually it's just me, you know?

Um, and then of course, like, it's so funny how things like that happened to me all the time. It's like where energy goes, energy flows. Yeah. Like if I, if I've got fear of losing followers or losing audience or losing clients, if you say so, um, and then you show up.  Inauthentically, because you've got this fear, you know, and you kind of like, Oh, okay.

You know, and it's just, I think since doing the work on myself and I've done it in various ways and I'm doing ERT at the moment with you, um, it's not, of course it's not easy. It's not like, Oh, all of a sudden you have this like new found confidence. It takes time. And I think this is interesting with the business journey, mindset journey, We want things quickly.

If they don't happen quickly, we move on.  And I think it happens with, you know, I talk about it with social media and marketing all the time, but I think actually you stick at it in your own authentic way and checking yourself and make edits. And it's always this iteration process. I had to do it with myself recently, like on the weekend, something's not working with Instagram.

Actually, it's me. And I need to switch things. So I've now put a different plan in place, and I feel excited, and we filmed videos on Monday, and I feel more authentic in that. So we've always gotta be checking in to make those changes, right? Like, it's not this set and forget thing. Yeah. But often we think with mindset work.

Or like something like therapy, ERT, hypnosis, whatever it is. Oh yeah, I'm just gonna do that and I'm gonna be healed forever, . And it's like, hmm,  okay. Yeah. Like of course. But you've gotta, you can't just then go, oh, go back into your old ways, right? Mm-Hmm. , you have to keep working at it to, yeah, definitely.

And people see that like within the health world, within diet, and like, oh, I'm just going to change, do this diet and I'm gonna be cured, or I'm gonna take this supplement. And it's going to be great. Like I'm that and done. But I mean, if you think you're 30 years old, 35, 40, whatever you are, you've had that much of a lifetime of putting the layers on and the programming of your nervous system and, you know, overwhelmed, like it's not going to take a couple of sessions of something to just peel them all back.

And  suddenly you're most authentic, healthy self ever, like 30 years of stuff doesn't get undone in a couple of months. So yeah, there's definitely, there's definitely an. When you really start on this journey, whether it's, you know, mindset stuff or the fundamental pillars or whatever it is, peeling back the layers, it's a change of lifestyle.

It's not something short term that you're like, right, I'm going to do this protocol for a couple of months. I'm going to do these sessions of ERT. And then just, yeah, as you said, go back to living my life. It's just like, my life is changing and it's going to be changing for the better, but it's just this slow burn or steps going forward, you know?

It's a good reminder because yeah, we just, we're inpatient beings, we just want things now. And I say this all the time with like marketing, obviously, like totally different working ourselves, but like anything, it's like, you don't just all of a sudden go, Oh, I'm done with the gym. I'm a healthy fit person.

I don't need to go back anymore. It's an, it's until the day you decide that, you know, you're not well to go to the gym or you close your business or, I mean, the inner work is done until basically you're on your deathbed. Um, but you know what I mean? Like it's this, as you say, it's this ever evolving.

Change in our lives and it's it's creating a different lifestyle for ourselves And I always say sometimes like sometimes it feels like you do the work you bring up more demons And then you think it's not something you never thought of before But if you actually reflect you're living a more aligned life than you know Oh, but you weren't realizing it because you weren't consciously thinking about it Definitely.

And I think that's what happens. And it can feel uncomfortable. And I read in this book about good or bad shouldn't be good or bad. It should just be labeled as a challenge. Yes. I love that. So then you don't see anything as good or bad, you see it as a challenge. And I think that is powerful, right?

Because with anything going, okay, it's just another challenge. Yes. And you know, I know you love storytelling and our nervous system is like the master storyteller because as soon as it is, yeah, as soon as something's going on or something comes up, we get triggered. The stories we can tell ourselves, like the stories that our subconscious throws up for our conscious to believe,  blows my mind.

Sometimes I hear things like here, I'm like, Whoa, really? Like, let's, let's look at that. Let's look at that story, you know, and it can be as simple as, I'm trying to think of a business line, but I can't at the moment. I'll just say like, what happened literally in my life last night is that my hubby, um, you know, was like,  We're trying to do a stuff with the kids at the moment with herbs and things and my daughter hates the herbs and She's screaming and he's like, oh, you know, that's it.

I can't handle her screaming anymore. Like I don't want to do it Well, the story is my nervous system threw up. He doesn't support me. He gets to go to work and do nothing I'm the one home with the kids, you know, and I think a lot of mothers can relate to this But yeah, the very much the story was He's got it so easy.

He just gets to go to work and come home and I have to do all the work, you know, and it's such a common story. But thankfully, like my conscience is like, okay, here we are running the story. Get to the punch and bag. Yeah. Went to the punch and bag, had my punch. And then it's like, all right, what's going underneath this?

Like, it's not the fact that he's going to work that's the problem. That's just the story. That's my body's telling me let's look deeper. What's the limiting belief? Where am I not feeling supported? Like what's coming up? What's the actual thing that's, you know, the problem here. So yeah, when you can sort of start seeing.

Yeah. your conscious stuff coming up as just stories and it's like okay well what's the meaning behind that story you know like let's look a bit deeper that's such an important aspect of finding our authentic self right because the stories we're telling it's just a story you know yeah yeah sometimes i tell mine to mitch and he looks at me like  What?

Like I had one yesterday about a client and just like an internal thought like oh, maybe they mean this secretly because of that and he's going,  I don't think so.  Yes, and that's when you know it's a story like if it's something that you wouldn't generally say out loud to someone you're like And you might, again, the story might be like, oh, they wouldn't understand.

But they don't understand it when they actually look at you like you're crazy, because that story is kind of crazy, like.  Lucky, lucky I, I, um, Mitch knows that I'm a bit mental inside, so  he's just going, okay, that's fine. Let's work through that. We're all a bit mental inside. We all have stories we tell ourselves.

I think I'm just more likely to say them out loud than other people.  I'm just an oversharer, but no, I think it, it's so true. We, the story, like, harness that storytelling into your content, guys. Yeah. Like, take those internal stories out of your nervous system and onto a paper into something that can help your audience.

Um, but no. Because we all relate, you know, we all relate to the stories inside and what's going on and yeah. You know. It's just the people that say it out loud that might look a bit crazy, but they're being authentic and at least they're sharing. And then you go, you know what? Yeah. Yes. I, I, I love it when I go on TikTok and you just see something, it's like, does everyone else think this?

And you go, yeah, but she's just said it out loud, so we're going to give her a like, because good on her for sharing that. It's like, it's, it's so funny because we're all, and that's why we connect when people share their stories. Cause we can go, I get it. And I'm so glad I'm not alone in that. And you know, when we can accept those stories for ourselves as well, like, yes, it might be leading.

And I really want to actually add that, that just because the stories are coming out. doesn't mean that you're broken, doesn't mean that you have a mental problem, doesn't mean, you know, like, it's just a story and you can, yeah, take it and run with it and be like, oh yeah, that was fine and accept it, right?

Because when we write, like, rail against our inner self,  that disconnect disconnects. creates more disconnect, right? When we're trying to suppress our inner thoughts, even if they're ones that we don't want to consciously connect with, then we're just suppressing the emotions even more. We're creating more layers there that are getting stuck and that are going to be causing problems later on.

Yeah. When we can really radically be honest and accepting of ourselves, then that is where we can actually just even, even doing that can process these layers out, you know? And  I think like, I got two great examples of that. Like we had, I have a, I run a group program. And when I met the clients and it was saying, Oh, you know, I just really have these, um, thoughts.

Like I just always stress about like, I'm sitting at my desk and, Oh, what if there's a fire and the house and the building burns down and I'm stuck at work and, or what if this, what if this? And I was like, she's like, I just really want help with that. I'm like, you know, everybody has those thoughts. She was like, no, I think I'm just, there's something wrong with me.

I'm like, no, no, no. All right. Everybody in the group, put your hand up. Who has those thoughts? Every single person in the group. And she was like, Oh my god, I feel better already. I was like, yeah, cause you're accepting yourself now. You're realizing that it's not a problem. You're not broken. Like it's just part of normal life.

And so, yeah, when you can really, of course we did a bit of ERT on it and help calm our nervous system and stuff. But the first step is just that radical acceptance and honesty with yourself. Um, and I had that the other night as well with a lady with homeschool group. My eldest had a bit of a running with her son.

And she was telling me about it, and she's like, Oh no, well we don't need to get emotional about our kids, you know, we're just going to have a conversation and it's all fine. And part of me was like, people please, like, oh yes, it's okay, no one's emotional, we're all fine. And I was like, actually I am feeling a bit emotional, like I do feel a bit like heightened.

And as soon as I accepted that in myself and I said to her, it's okay, like yeah, I am feeling a bit emotional, but we can still have a convo about it, let's keep going.  Oh my god, like, huh, I actually sighed and this relief in my nervous system of just that accepting and acknowledging where I was at, you know, it's radical honesty.

So much of us, or so many of us really want to suppress and be like, Oh no, everything's fine. As you said, like that fake it till you make it.  Sure, sometimes you might want to do that, but if you're not accepting in yourself that, oh god, I feel really, like, heightened at the moment, or this doesn't feel right, or, you know, just really, yeah, it's that acceptance and acknowledgement piece, and that radical honesty with yourself is really important to calm and regulate that nervous system and to start peeling those layers back, you know?

Yeah. Yeah, that's a really good point to end on. It's definitely a lot of times we go, Oh, no, everything is fine. But then, um, and you think about it, people like if I will listen to a podcast about business deals, and basically she said, when you learn how to make deals, everything in your like business and is easier.

But like, say, for example, it's like negotiation as well, right? Or like saying, okay, Okay. Actually, I feel this way, but it's okay that you feel this way. Let's talk about it. Like you just said, like, I'm not going to go, Oh no, yeah, I'm going to meet you where you're at. Let's just meet in the middle. Like why does one party have to come  to the other, you know?

And I think. You know, and you're not wrong for feeling that way. And they're not wrong for feeling that way. It's just, it's what it is. Acknowledge it and then, yeah, take a break if you need to, but come back to it. And. Okay, let's keep going, you know, like it's definitely and that is where the fake it till you make it pop like thing can be really detrimental too, because you're just suppressing and pushing those layers down.

Fake it till you make it on the outside, but accept it and acknowledge it on the inside, you know? Absolutely. Well, there's no better time to start than now, because you've already got the layers you need to peel off and start before you add any more on, I think is a good party message.  How can people find you?

Thank you so much for coming on and sharing this. This has been an awesome conversation. I've loved it. Oh, thank you for having me. So many things to think about it. How can people find you, connect with you, learn more about what you do and yeah, just say hello and, um, learn about your world. Cool. Well, my company or my business name, my webpage is livingholistically.

com. au. I put out a blog weekly or fortnightly, um, depending what's going on  I've got an email list that I put out weekly and I'm also on Instagram is living holistically as well. So yes, and the, the newsletters are very good value. So I highly recommend people sign up to that because I love getting them and learning a little bit more about, you know, different elements of my health.

So thank you so much Zoe for joining. And um, yeah, I'm, Got so much to think about and everyone else would as well. So thank you. Yeah. Awesome. Thanks for having me. What do you think? How do you feel about your authenticity online? Now, I think the biggest thing is of course, if you feel that emotional drain, but then, you know, meeting people in person.

After creating content online, you know, compliments like, Oh my God, you're the exact same as how you are on social media, things like that. But just doing those check ins I think is really important. And as I said, coming at it from a different lens, not just from the marketing side of build trust, be authentic, do this, but it's like, yeah, but.

I'm also human and I need to connect to my human emotions and feelings. So I love getting different perspectives on the show. And even with myself and my own growth and development,  I've been doing a lot of inner work. I've been exploring, experimenting with emotional release technique that Zoe offers.

And it's really helped me.  Yeah, with so many elements of life and business. And I think with business and marketing your own business and showing up on social media and all those things is such a personal growth journey. It's massive. No one tells you how much entrepreneurship or small business ownership sends you on this personal development journey of worth, of trust, of all these things, doubt,  overwhelm, you know, authenticity, and really connecting with that.

So I think, Doing the work on yourself is a really important way to build that authenticity and now more than ever, people are talking about marketing mindset and how to get yourself into a mindset to share your offers, to believe in yourself, because a lot of it is that self belief. People can feel that energy.

So, Definitely doing the work is a massive part of this journey and I hope you got so much out of it and you've got some little things to do a self evaluation on how you're showing up authentically online.  Be a content queen or king and remember that developing your strategy and story develops your business.

Thank you for joining me today and please don't forget to share this with your business and entrepreneurial friends and you can do this by adding it to your Instagram stories. At Content Queen Mariah, or just share the link and amazing guests like Zoe come to me because they see my podcast, they see it's tracking in the charts, they see it's a good, valuable show with lots of episodes, but I can't do it without rating and reviews and hearing, you know, the positive reinforcement that I am showing up authentically online and that you're really enjoying the show.

So if you've been a long time listener and you haven't left a review, Five stars on Spotify, a little cheeky comment on the episode or on Apple, you can leave a review and write something that really helps me  grow the podcast and be seen in the charts and continue to get great recommendations and referrals for guests to join the show.

So follow me on Instagram  or TikTok and do let me know if there are any topics that you want to hear.  I'm always planning content. We have an awesome campaign coming up in November. So if there's anything you want to hear on that, please let me know and I'll talk to you soon. Bye!

PodcastMariah MacInnesmarketing, marketing advice, how to be authentic online, business ownerComment